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Seeds Of Unfolding
Peace in Our Lifetime Peace in Our Lifetime
Reviewed by E. B. Farkas
Susan Skog wastes no time beginning with a bold challenge: “We
can no longer cling to the illusion that peace will somehow be
delivered to us by leaders wiser and more powerful than we are.
We’re the wise and powerful ones. We will know the blessings of
peace when we learn and practice the ways of peace.” Just as we
are tempted to rush out with banners and posters, the Buddhist
monk Thich Nhat Hanh, Nobel Peace Prize Nominee, sets the tone
by saying, “The first step is to come home to ourselves. You don’t
need to become a Buddha. You need to become yourself.” And from
here the book takes the reader on a remarkable journey.
Using real life stories of peacemakers, from famous negotiators
to ordinary people, Skog shows how it is possible to wage peace.
What makes her book fascinating is how individuals in various
culturesfrom those who have lost relatives in war-torn Africa
to those who lost loved ones on September 11create peace out
of conflict.
Peace in Our Lifetime tackles the issue of conflict resolution
in a multitude of contexts that range from the local PTA to international
terrorism. She begins with the premise that it all starts with
a sense of personal responsibility. Skog further challenges the
reader to acknowledge that Step One is having peace in one’s own
life. Fair to say she does not shy away from the tough stuff.
So, be prepared. This is a book well worth reading.
The author provides moving examples of how individuals made bold
decisions to move towards peace and reconciliation. “My environment
seemed filled with unresolved conflicts. They took all my energy
just to avoid them, to please the ones who were conflicting with
me, to rescue those in need. The number of conflicts appeared
to be building, getting out of control. My family, my job, my
work, my community seemed filled with conflict,” says one of her
peacemakers, a man called Wicklund. The author then proceeds to
explore, starting with this example, why conflicts make us uncomfortable
and how and why we ought to look at them differently.
The book provides simple yet powerful and inspiring examples
of conflict resolution. In one neighborhood hostility was growing
towards a homeowner to the point where the police were called
in to meet with some of the families. After a great deal of tension
had been expressed, the officer asked, “Why don’t we ask them
what’s going on?” The author describes how the silence that followed
that simple paradigm-shifting statement resulted in the initiation
of a dialogue. The dialogue engendered empathy. Empathy, in turn,
helped resolve the conflict.
While all this may seem warm and fuzzy, Susan Skog does not shy
away from addressing, head on, some tough issues. “We can be achingly
beautiful one minute and horribly ugly the next.” She forces us
to look deeply into ourselves to see that while we have potential
to grow and love, we also have other elements that can feed into
conflicts.
She provides a roadmap of how to work with the tendency to demonize,
and with our inner anger, fear and grief. Skog then moves on to
show how we can pick up on opportunities to “wage peace” in settings
that can be personal or perhaps go beyond just the personal.
To illustrate her belief that during conflict you should share
what lies in your heart, the author describes a meeting between
Turkish and Kurdish leaders who had been fighting in a bitter
civil war for a quarter century. After a moving quote from a Turkish
Admiral, she recounts, the room suddenly became still. “You could
have heard a pin drop.” I could go on, but if you want to know
the end of this story you will have to read the book yourself!
Susan asks us to forgive, love and become peacemakers. Fortunately
her book provides practical tips that can help readers along the
way.
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